Susan Hemann: August 2014

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Yesterday my daughter sent me a text. Apparently my grandson

is curious about how babies are born. My daughter is pregnant,

so my grandson asked how the baby will get out of her stomach.

Smiling anyone? Well, let me tell you a story...

It was three weeks before Christmas, my brother, my children

and myself were out hunting for a Christmas tree. I decided

it would be great fun to cut our own tree down. So we drove

to the tree farm, or so I thought. It turned out to be a muddy

plowed farm field. Not to be discouraged by this adventure

we climbed through the field until we reached the trees.

The first tree was way to small, the second tree was just right, nice and big. My brother chopped the tree down and we carried it to

my car, it was extremely heavy. I owned a Chevette.

We got to the car, put the back seat

down and tried to fit the tree in. What a project, the tree was huge!

There was barely room for us to get in.

On the way home I was thinking, wow that was well done, when

my daughter asked how do babies get out of your vagina when

it is so small. Well that certainly brought me

out of Christmas dreams. I had to think quickly, how do I

explain to a 5 yr old, in simple terms, how babies are born?

I know my brother was waiting to hear how I was going to get

out of this one. My sons' ears were perked up as well, he did

not have a clue either. You could hear a pin drop in that car as everyone waited for an answer.

I finally told my daughter a vagina was like a really big rubber band,

it starts out small and then gets bigger. She said oh, ok and was

off onto a different subject. I, on the other hand, was exhausted.

**Just in case your interested, the tree had to be cut to fit the

height of the room. It also fell down after it was fully

decorated, but that's another story. Oh and after Christmas,

when I was taking it down, I found a birds nest in it.

Susan Hemann